Bad news is something everyone will experience at one point or another in time. I have experienced my fair share of bad news: my diagnosis, surgeries, and others. People may consider different kinds of news as bad news: losing a client at work, getting poor results from a test, etc. The important thing to note when someone receives bad news is that everyone will react differently, even if it is the same news someone else has received. Some people talk about it with others to find comfort, others, like me, minimise the contact with people to think about their situation on their own.
There is no right or wrong way to react to bad news and no one can predict how another person will act after hearing it. Reacting to bad news is completely normal but sometimes people can get wrapped up in bad news and feel imprisoned by their negative thoughts. Therefore, it is important that however someone reacts they will always need help and comforting from anyone around them. Whether you know them or not, if you are aware that someone is has reacted badly to some news it is the humane thing to ask how they are doing.
Because of my disability I have had multiple times when I have received life changing news. From my original diagnosis to some major surgeries. I was too young to remember being diagnosed but I remember the fear when being told I was going to have surgery the first time. I was 8 years old and I had to go through a major spinal operation that lasted 11 hours where the surgeons removed a large mass of my pelvic tumour. That operation, after a six or so month recovery period, had a benefit on my quality of life, but it was only a temporary solution as the tumour continued to grow and my physical abilities deteriorated again and will most likely continue to.
As I received more news about surgeries or treatments, and that my physical state will continue to worsen, my reaction to them became more and more numb. Not because I did not think it was a big deal but because I have been through it before, and it has become a repetitive experience in my life. To me this is not a healthy way of reacting to bad news because it results in me not dealing with it and instead just shrug it off like it will not affect me afterwards. Having a feeling towards bad news, bad events or anything else like that is healthy because from that you have the opportunity to face the situation in a way that allows you to prepare for it.
People tell me that I ‘deal with it well’ but it has got to the point where I am not really ‘dealing with it’ at all because to me there is nothing wrong or bad happening, it is just another day at the office. To other people though, having major surgery could be the worse feeling they could get. That is what I am trying to express when saying that we all have out own concept on what bad news is, so no one has worse news than other people. It depends on how each individual is affected by the bad news they receive.
Life has designed itself so that we are surrounded by bad news on TV, radio, newspapers. This makes it incredibly hard to believe that good news exists, but it is likely that you have received good news but not even realised it or remember it because life being designed in this way makes us recall the bad news or events in our lives more than the good. We need to start taking note of the positive news we get no matter how small and focus on that, otherwise you are likely to create a negative environment for yourself.
My way of doing this over the past few months is whenever I receive some really good news that makes me happy, I make a note of it on my phone. I have noticed since doing this I have also begun to recognise that more smaller good news in my life has stuck with me or I have remembered good news from before that I did not notice at the time. I am not sure if this would work for everyone, but one way we can improve our lives is through trial and error of different strategies that might make us happier beings.